So I'm in Miami wit my biatch-boy JAY LYON!!!!!!! Now, homegirlz, don't be all "who the FUCK is dat?!" b/c U KNOW WHO HE BE!!!! Jay is the guy who dated Miranda Kerr (til she dumped him) and my main boss biatch Whitney Port (til she dumped him) AND he's only in the BIGGEST BAND EVZ!!!! Tamamarra!!! Terammeara!!!! Tamarraarra!!!! Tamaramamamamamaamamamamaaa!!!!!!!!! WhatEVZ!!! point is, he's TOTEZ a big deal musician!!!! Like, a BIG deal!!! 

N-E-WAYZ, been stayin' at this amazballz hotel dat has a cocktail bar IN THE POOL!!! LOLZ!!! Jay n I have been jus drinking cocktailz n sunbaking n smoking apple bongz n makin' jewellery!!! This TOTEZ EMBARRASSING pap shot is us makin' Jay a totez cute belly chain!!! He wore it out that night and TOTEZ scored a THREESOME!!!! LOLZ!!! Good for u, Jay-Jay!!!! He totez just bought these girlz heaps of shots and told them that he dated Miranda Kerr n they were totez IMPRESSED and INTO HIM!!!!! Totez bummer that they stol ur iPhone n wallet, Jay!!!! Doesn't matter tho, u got totez lalalalalalalaaaaaid!!!!!!!! Luv u!!! Text me!!! Oh, u can't, ur phone's gone!!! LOL!!!! xxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo