Original article written by Bill Simmons for ESPN The Magazine.
Someone get this over to the AFL ASAP. For GODs SAKE!!!!
You might remember Hurricanes right wing Scott Walker's decking Bruins defenseman Aaron Ward in Game 5 of their Eastern Conference semifinals. Total sucker punch.Outraged fans (myself included) pined for swift justice, telepathically urging B'senforcer Milan Lucic to escape an official's grasp and get to Walker. I think I evenscreamed, "Kill him! Kill him!"
Unable to break free, Looch settled on the I-will-have-my-revenge-someday hockeytrifecta: swearing, fierce finger-pointing and sarcastic nodding. Walker exacerbated thesituation by skating around with a defiant smile on his face. The moment ended. Wardwobbled off. And every Boston fan had the same thought: Scott Walker must pay.
Nothing happened in Game 6, and when the series returned to Boston for Game 7, Iwanted the Bruins to marinate Walker, grill him and serve him to the fans with an applestuck in his mouth. You know, like a pig at a feast. Instead, Walker shushed the crowdby scoring the series-winner in OT. Of all the guys! I haven't been so furious sinceDrago killed Apollo. I waited for someone to pummel him in the handshake line. Noone did. He was offered every hand and even gave Ward an "I'm sorry" tap on theshoulder.
The Walker story had everything you want from playoff hockey: bad blood, vengeanceand, ultimately, reconciliation. Like Vito Corleone tried to teach his sons, it's onlybusiness. Come playoff time, players grow ugly beards and throw themselves aroundwith no regard. If an opponent crosses the line, they settle it with elbows, sticks or fists.Maybe a slash when the ref isn't looking. They might even take a run at someone afterthe outcome has been decided. Just remember, Sonny: It's business.
Every Bruins fan felt the same thing: "Scott Walker must pay."
I grew up a hockey lover in Boston, and the sport's nonstop feistiness pushed it over thetop for me. But I cooled on the B's after college, when owner/miser Jeremy Jacobs keptpinching pennies at the expense of Cup hopes. Other reasons: too many soft Euros; toomany instigator penalties, helmets and eye shields, not enough old school. Whenoverexpansion mortally wounded franchise feuds -- after all, the more times NHL teamsplay each other, the more they despise each other -- the sport's feistiness was suckedaway like pus from an aching knee.
Problem was, we missed the pus. The NHL didn't get it, though. Add the ghastly trapand overpriced tickets, and it's no wonder fans trickled away. After the ruinous lockoutthat wiped out the 2004-05 season, hockey devolved into a niche sport, and that wasthat.
Or so I thought. Because, as it turns out, I really like hockey again. A boom ofsuperskilled players helped, but not as much as the NHL's reembracing its chippy DNA.Maple Leafs GM Brian Burke admitted as much to me when we shared a panel atMIT's Sloan Sports Analytics Conference recently. All he wants from any game, hesaid, is for his fans to see a few goals, a donnybrook or two and, hopefully, a win.
I wanted to hug him.
Burke always knew casual fans would return only for wide-open hockey and physicalplay. (I can vouch for this; I've never been to a game in which the excitement leveldidn't quadruple as soon as things got testy.) A few savvy rules changes opened up theice, unleashing riveting talents -- Alex Ovechkin and Evgeni Malkin, among others --who resonate more than they would have 20 years ago, thanks to YouTube. As for thephysicality, little has changed other than the league's deciding that maybe it's not sobad. Fighting majors are up 11% from last season. It's true.
Know what else helped? Our country swung back toward the traits that make hockeyhum. In the 1990s, we made great strides in the areas of racial equality, genderdiscrimination, gay rights, animal abuse, domestic violence, recycling, safe sex, drunkendriving, name it. Americans grew more sophisticated and socially engaged. But webecame undeniably uptight in the process. Something as innocent as a hockey fightsuddenly became a bad example for the children. And no handshake line could undo the"damage."
Mercifully, we have swung the other way in the new millennium. The UFC madefighting profitable and acceptable. The Internet made it seem okay to attack anyone withwords and hide behind the cloak of anonymity. Anyone could steal content -- songs,jokes, highlights -- and post it online, and everything was fine. Female celebs usedsexuality to advance careers; soon teens were grinding on shows like Gossip Girl andnobody cared. Reality TV had no rules at all -- you couldn't do anything they wouldn'tshow.
Call it a lawlessness of sorts. I'm not defending it, just pointing it out. It's been great forhockey -- and terrible for basketball. The NBA suddenly seems like one of those late-1960s dads freaking out because his son has returned from college with long hair."Wait, you can't shove him after the whistle like that! This game might get competitive!Flagrant-2!" Robbed of the ability to police one another, today's NBA players have noidea how to act when an opponent angers them. It's like watching two young siblingsplay -- wrestling unsuccessfully because Mom keeps screaming hysterically, "Careful!Careful! Careful!"
Can you play a fluid sport like basketball at its highest level without bodies banging,penetrating players getting clobbered and the occasional testiness? Of course you can't.The NBA pretends you can, though, putting the playoffs in the hands of (mostlyincompetent) refs who overreact to each shove and stare. It drives me crazy.
On the flip side you have hockey -- a sport in which players police the ice themselvesand happily jump into the boards after scoring a goal. In hockey, it's okay to settleBill Simmons - I love the NHL! - ESPN The Magazine 12/10/09 9:53 PMhttp://sports.espn.go.com/espnmag/story?id=4178211 Page 5 of 6differences like men, and websites like hockeyfights.com thrive. It's always business,never personal. I can't believe I'm saying this, but the NBA could learn something fromthe NHL.
This was my favorite Bruins moment this season. Center Patrice Bergeron almost losthis career once to a concussion, and in April, Canadiens D Josh Gorges ran him frombehind. That same bozo did it again in Game 2 of the first round of the playoffs.Bergeron had never fought in his career. Not once. This time he whirled, dropped hisgloves and pounded the bozo like a veal chop. Bruins fans reacted like a crowd at oneof Oprah's washer/dryer giveaways. Bergeron could have scored the game-winner andhe wouldn't have gotten a bigger reaction.
We may as well have been watching the UFC. Is that a bad thing? You can't callhockey's resurgence a comeback, because it hasn't fundamentally changed. We changed.Twice. Hockey didn't fit 10 years ago; now it does. I love having the NHL back in mylife, even if it means dealing with Jacobs the Skinflint again. The sport is breathtaking towatch. The players are more brilliant than ever; games look gorgeous in HD. And likeold times, all scores are settled on the ice.
Well, except for the one with Walker. Maybe we didn't barbecue the jerk this time, butthat's what is great about the NHL: We know we can get him next year. And we will.I'm counting on you, Looch.