The week in trashbaggery volume two
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| Everything you (didn't) want to know |
Sep 11, 2009 at 12:14 |
The Amish have their own pron! Who knew? The books are selling crazy numbers in the US (13 million and counting) and the story-lines all involve Amish ladies meeting non-Amish males, getting funny feelings ‘down there’ and maybe even holding hands. Hot!
Charlie Sheen is kraaaazy and has written a piece where he imagines what it would be like to interview President Obama and TOTALLY NAIL HIM on how 9/11 was a conspiracy between the lizard people, the Tiran Corporation and the reverse vampires. Read the madness at prisonplanet.com.
Hugh Hefner has filed for divorce. Apparently he had an ancient (47-years-old!) bunny on the side that he was, you know, kinda still married to. She’s been given several million dollars and $20 thousand a month to go away and be old somewhere else.
Disney bought Marvel Comics for a lazy $4 billion this week. Expect to see more of the five thousand (yes, seriously) characters in the Marvel vaults getting their own movie adaptations and licensing deals. Someone might also print an actual comic book, maybe, if they feel like it. Oh, and Warner are buying DC Comics just as fast they possible can.
Ellen DeGeneres is the new host of American Idol. She replaces Paul Abdul, who had to be pensioned off after her pill popping, *drinkie, drinkie*, exploits became a little too public.
Steve Jobs made an appearance at Apple’s iPod Event this week and a bunch of design nerds busted a nut in excitement. If you want to read endlessly speculation about his health/weight/appearance, the internet is waiting for you.
Khloe Kardashian is still the ugly one. Kim, meanwhile, is taking photos of herself in lingerie and Tweeting them.
The all new Melrose Place premiered in the US this week. We haven’t watched it – probably never will, but we figured it’s worth a mention. If you don’t know, OG Melrose was famous in the mid-90s for having an openly gay character (that never spoke) and being retarded.
Lindsay Lohan has put on some weight and is no longer crazy. Alternatively, she’s lost weight and is more crazy. Depends on which tabloid you pick up. Also, Lilo’s got herself some vampire teeth and is desperately trying to get a role in Twilight. Or something.
American football star Shawne Merriman had to choke his girlfriend, Tila Tequila, to stop her drink driving. He was subsequently arrested by cops. Tequila has not won much sympathy from the US press over all this because, well, you can probably figure that out for yourself. Let’s just say her reality TV show exploits haven’t endeared her to middle America. Teenage boys, that’s another story.
The Moscow News released a new print ad talking up their English credentials. “Things hard to explain, in a language you understand.” Anyway, the featured image has outraged some New Yorkers who think any reference to 9/11 is a personal insult. Check the images to make up your own mind. We think it’s pretty incredible (in a good way).
Rambo IV has Sylvester Stallone squaring off against some sort of giant sasquatch thing. It’s like they’re not even trying anymore.
According to new research, Facebook makes you smarter. Twitter makes you dumber. Make of that what you will... Oh, and while on the topic, the cast of the upcoming Facebook movie continues to be fleshed out. It’s now rumoured/confirmed that Justin Timberlake is playing the part of Napster’s Sean Parker. We’re still not going to pay money to see a movie about Facebook.
Oh yeah, this cat? Fricken AWESOME.
Last week's trashbaggery.
Posted By: Mikolai Napieralski
Tags: Trash, Magazines, Celebrities, Television, Movies, 90s, Funny
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'21' comment(s) have been made
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Respect
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A Facebook movie starring Justin Timberlake? The world just imploded.
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Funny Mikolai, funny. Loving the speedy week that was in a tone I can bear.
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Senior Member
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Oh Heffy, you sly dog, you.
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Another gold star and elephant stamp for Mikolai.
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Yes, agreed. Emilia, I am confused by your avatar, I keep thinking it's Freeak...
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Senior Member
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Oi, I'm just trying to mooch off Freeak's fame. I will change my avatar thingy ... err, soon
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Advanced Member
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Thank you Mikolai, you just saved me from having to buy Who Weekly... But I'm still going to by The Picture Magazine...
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I could always change mine back to the freaky dancing llama that everyone loved so much. Or the Conan OBrien one that killed 47 epileptics?
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Senior Member
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Paula Abdul looks like she carved up a mermaid and climbed into its hollow carcass, stylishly held together by a single gold hoop.
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Advanced Member
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No Freeak. Your Bjork avatar works, I envisage you actually being Bjork and yelling at your comments at the Computer.
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Senior Member
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I dunno about that Div, Ariel the Mermaid and her little red lobster friend never broke in to the whiskey cabinet like Paula...
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Funny you should say that Ghostbusta. When I fist started commenting, I would actually try to type all my stuff in that exact style. I slip back into it every now and then, but it's hard to be sarcastic and ironic when you're screaming in Icelandic. Holy shit! That could be a song. It's hard to be sarcastic, when you're screaming in Icelandic....
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Member
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How rad was that cat!
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Freeak, I would totally pay my $1.79 (or whatever it is) to download that song.
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Ok - so thats all good, but what is the holy hell is a Reverse Vampire?
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New Lounger
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where's the link to Amish pr0n??? I NEED to see this stuff... for cultural anthropological reasons, of course.
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Here you go, all the Amish pron you could ever want: http://tinyurl.com/na4kge
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Ask Millhouse, Fujiko-san. He knows all about reverse vampires.
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Senior Member
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I wonder if he really fed up with his life style?
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New Lounger
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robo cat... here we come...
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Senior Member
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Tila Tequila? Vomit in mouth. I personally dislike felines but that cat WAS kinda awesome i have to admit. I mean, look at them constantly changing paws. They involuntarily made me smile.
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